Feb 4th-- Huge Spiders & More Beatings

February 4, 2010

So many things happened today. Some good, some bad. But most importantly, at the end of the day, I am pretty happy and I feel at home. The kids have replaced my homesickness with love. I love them so much!!!
I slept alone last night at the House. Annika walked me up there to help put the kids to bed. Ester was not there, which surprised me. What if we didn’t come? The kids would have been left alone! So we got them ready, read them a story to candlelight all huddled together like a family. I then had Fi-Fi (who is a local boy around 21 or so. He used to live at the House, and we think he is a little mentally slow but he is seriously the coolest kid. He comes up to help and lay with the kids all the time) walk Annika home. So Cho-joe (which means Monday in Fante) was crying so much for Ruth, and I waited for him to calm down and then set him in bed. I locked the door by placing the bend nail over the door and waited for Ester. I was so tired from the day that I was about to pass out waiting for her until I saw two huge spiders on the wall. Well she eventually showed up in time for me to get some sleep. Well, I woke up every half hour worried and nervous. I don’t know about what, but I always had to check on the kids. Cho-joe peed his pants, as usual!!! Haha… he is so funny!!!
Then around 4:30 Esther started cooking breakfast and then around 5 in the morning she came in with a stick in her hand, walked past me, and started to beat John. The poor kid was sleeping and had to wake up being hit. The light switched on. He must have gotten beaten about 15 or 20 times he was able to get out of bed to head to the front where Esther wanted him to go. All along the way, she was still beating him. Once in the wash area, you could hear the slapping of skin on wood. I didn’t know what to do. I was told that we could not interfere. I just held the kids that were scared and waited. Around 5:30, I told the kids to get ready for the day. I tried to bathe Cho-joe, but he didn’t want to yet even though he smelled like pee.
Then I heard the stick against skin again. This time it was Christy pinned up against a wall with Esther hitting her. She is just 5 and the sweetest girl ever. She was saying “Ester blah blah blah” with something in Fante. Like a pleading to stop. I felt so bad. 30 seconds later, I just needed to do something so I wouldn’t cry and yell or run or do something. I started to wash dishes. Not a few minutes later, Esther was on Christy again in front of the kids. She beat her a little and then asked her to hold out her hand. There, she had to receive 8 hard slaps. She would flinch, and Ester would get anger, making the slaps harder. I wanted to jump in front and stop, but I was told not to. So after the 8 swipes, Ester sat down and started washing.
Then Elvis got into my pepper spray and sprayed it twice in the girls room. Everyone started coughing and sneezing. Once I found out, I pulled Elvis and explained would it was and that you can’t go and get into people’s things. But in a few minutes, we just started laughing. Then after that quick pause, I grabbed Christy outside so that she could cry. I imagine she was afraid to cry because she might get beaten for it. I pulled her outside and held her in my lap as she cried. It broke my heart as I wiped her tears. She then needed to wash and get ready for school so I asked her if she was ready. She almost was. We waited a little longer. In a minute, we stood up and then she stopped and started crying again. I knelt down and held her shoulders. She explained that Ester does that all the time and some other things I couldn’t really understand. I again wiped her tears and said I love her and that was a strong, beautiful girl. She was brave, and we went inside after I grabbed Cho-joe who had run outside. I didn’t know whether to be angry at Esther or myself, but I asked Annika and Theresa to come early in case I need to leave. They came around 6:30. So we did the usual. Get the kids to bathe, brush teeth, help them dress and shine their shoes, straighten their uniforms, get the food served. Christy lost her socks, and then we found them but they were wet. I was thinking about just making her put on the wet ones but I decided for today she had enough, and I let her get new ones for today. After they left, we had to wash all the bed sheets that were near the pepper spray and other cloths.
I then headed home and decided to go to the regional hospital because I had been feeling bad. The hospital was crazy. I waited for half an hour to get my folder, half and hour to be called the first time to move to the next room. Half hour to be called to get my vital signs, half hour to wait to see a nurse and then waited 30 minutes to see the doctor. There he sent me to the lab where I waited 30 half hour to give them a urine sample and pay. There, I saw a woman I thought was already dead. Her body was so thin she could stand or what seemed to breathe on her own. It crushed me. The whole experience was just so eye-opening. I want to help. They are people just like at home. They have problems and needs, just not the resources. Maybe I need to think more about going into the medical field.
I then took a shared taxi back to Cape Coast for 50 pesewas, bought some candy and tro-tro to Asebu. I meet a lot of very friendly people along the way too. It is so funny, but when you mert the men, they always say “When can I meet you again” or “Come see me again”. They are not so serious more over just a thing to say and if it happens to work out, then great. Once there, I hadn’t done laundry or gone to the clinic and I needed to. So I ate real quickly and headed to the clinic.
After that, I talked with Mrs. Incoom about the beating. She is just as opposed to beating as me. She teaches ICT (computer class), and she is the only teacher to not beat the kids and she has the only class the kids are good at and want to go to. Imagine that!!! She gave me some insight about how to address the problem at the House and how to talk to Elvis and Esther. I just think that if you have to use fear to gain power over someone, then you have no real power. And beating isn’t discipline, it is abuse. And when does the cycle end? It almost never does. I understand it is cultural and in All of Africa so I have to find a balance of keeping my beliefs but also being silent sometimes. I hope though that at least at the House, the beatings can stop. That is their home. A place of refuge. NO child should have to live where they worry about waking up to being beaten, or while eating or playing. It is unhealthy. After that, I went up to the house and played with the kids. Christy didn’t want to do her homework so I went back with her and told her if she did her homework, for only this time, she could have a piece of toffee (candy is called toffee here). So she did it. Beating just doesn’t do it. You can punish other ways, but rewarding a child is one good technique.
We then fetched water (we always carry it on our heads. It really is easier that way) and then we left around 6. So I came home and showered and now I am writing. Since I haven’t really slept at all, I am tired. But not like I could just fall asleep, rather just needing a break. So I will eat dinner and think about today. There are so many things I am learning and need to continually learn. But I can definitely say I want to come back. This is like a second home. I love it. While the food and life style are different, I feel at home still.
And as for next weekend, we are for sure going to Volta Lake to take the water tour. I will go with Annika and her friend. We will leave Friday morning and get to our hotel in a town starting with “A” by dark. On Saturday, we will tour the lake. Since we don’t want to travel at night, we will spend another night at the guest house hotel and travel back Sunday. It will be fun!!!