March 1st
For today, it was the first time since being here (except the first few days) that I have volunteered alone. It was pretty lonely. I really miss Annika and Theresia and Anne Louise now. I got to the House before 6:30 because I couldn’t sleep. Everyone was so quiet. I was nervous that Ester had yelled or beat them this morning. But they didn’t tell me. Maybe they were just tired. But I helped wash dishes so we could serve food. Once again it was porage for the 7th day in a row. But today’s portion was so small. And I felt so bad. I thought I had counted 16 bowls, but I must have missed one and only got 15. So I served one less. This means that Joshua got gari. I felt so bad. I tried to think of it as how many times I had served food and that I can let one little mistake slide, but I couldn’t. That just means that one kid of mine had to go a little extra hungry because I wasn’t as aware as I should have been.
I then found out that the water was almost out. I was nervous about washing and if Ester would actually do it this time. So I got the washing buckets ready. She came in and said “Oh!! We not wash! We not wash today!” I asked, “Why?” And she said “NO soap!!” I went to the corner and grabbed the soap and said “Soap!” She then said “No water!” I then went to the buckets and said “This is enough water! Ester, we wash every day. Every day we wash clothes, you and me!” And everything was almost word for word. I was not going to let her slide on this. So I sat down on my stool and waited and looked at her and invited her with a gesture of “you are going to join me.” So eventually after finishing whatever she was doing, she got the hint that I was not kidding, and she could not fool me. I have given Ester an inch and she has taken a mile. Mainly because I am a foreignor in a foreign land and I do not know everything that needs to be done, but now I know more. So after washing, I directly left, giving an impression that “Ester, now you do your job and clean. I am not here to do your job for you, only help.”
I then came home hoping there was sugar and egg. But there was not. So I had oats without sugar and toasted bread. I then had spaghetti. Here, we just have the spaghetti. No sauce. So It was a very bland breakfast.
I then got on the computer and started doing research for school. I need to find out about whether I should go to Medical school or Law school. I have always known that I should acquire the most education possible and that I could do either. But I haven’t known which I should do. But I decided that since I have been praying and studying the scriptures about this very question, I decided that maybe the Lord wanted me to study it out for myself. So even though the internet is slow, I did some research. I researched University of Utah’s School of Law program and this was the answer to my prayer. I had known there were different ways to study law-- business, criminal, patent, accounting. These kind of things, but I never knew what good you could do with a Law degree. I found out more about pro bonos and what people were doing with their degrees. Some were helping in the Middle East’s struggle with water rights, some were helping women rights in India, other in general global understanding, and the most exciting, many help with women rights, family abuse and much more in Africa. In Utah, there are study programs or something similar to go to areas in the world to help study and practice law. They even mentioned how many students even come from Ghana. I never even thought about how me being a lawyer could also become a volunteer service. Because for me, I didn’t want to get a degree in something if I could not later volunteer it. With medicine, I could go and help anywhere. But now I understand, I can help with Law too. I can become part of organizations and work for free and inform about human rights, etc. It was such a blessing. Since I was little in sixth grade and doing a report about what I wanted to be when I grow up, I researched being a lawyer. I know in my heart that I could do it and that I should do it. And now I have no doubt. It was such a blessing. So as time goes now, I will figure more and more about it. But it is strange--coming here, I would have thought a passion about becoming a doctor would be instilled in me, seeing all of the sickness and bad health care. But it isn’t so.
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